“The Song of Doctor Watson”
Words and music by Harvey Officer
Doctor John H. Watson was I,
Known as a straight and honest guy.
Was to be a Surgeon for years,
In the Northumberland Fusiliers
But wounded was I in the thigh
Or was it the Subclavian Artery?
‘Twas by a vile bullet Jezail,
Shot by the Ghazis murderous hail.
Needless that I should repeat,
How I arrived in Baker Street.
Of all the tales I have versed
A Study in Scarlet was the first.
Holmes, ‘tis true, made me the goat,
Criticized every word I wrote,
But he tried, after a while,
Even to imitate my style.
However, I did marry again,
Who was the dame I married then?
The name must be mysterious still,
Roberts declared ‘twas De Merville.
Morley, he did not agree,
Said it was Sherlock’s landlady.
But any proof I do not see,
So, it must remain a mystery.
Rightly, then, praise you my pen,
All you men and women.
Was I not willing to be?
Called by him “Elementary?”
For you see, I had to be,
Boswell to his curious vanity,
After all, but for my tomes,
What could you know of Sherlock Holmes?